Avarice: Deadly Sin

Be selfish. Be secretly selfish. Selfish is more than good. In fact, it is the contract that you give to yourself that you will survive through any situation. Always think about yourself, and never give total power unto another, this includes marital relationships. I'm not talking about the extreme kind of selfish where you are harming more than getting benefit. I'm talking about setting up life insurance for whatever you encounter and wherever you go. Selfishness is life insurance.

However, do not be obvious with your selfishness. Do not reflect this side to anyone, keep it a secret.

If you get the opportunity to cheat on a test with the 100% guarantee of not getting caught, go ahead. If you are a newlywed, keep a separate and secret account with $3,000 in case you divorce. Fool the unsuspecting lover. Indulge in bettering yourself. Be selfish with your money, keep more than needed in your secret vault.

The reason why so many humans become miserable, or fall from a fancyland of happiness is because they give themselves away easily. Being too generous is like locking yourself up in the bathroom, hands handcuffed to the shower head, and turning on the water to take a scalding hot shower with no escape.

Do not be risky, and do not dance in the unstable line without establishing life insurance. Be selfish, use people if you can.

I advice you to hold a face of a harmless, happy, and unsuspecting candidate of selfishness.

Little do they know, you are on top of the chain.

Private

Dear *****,

Do you become depressed after it rains? I'm talking about the kind of rain that brings in gray clouds, along with that dull twilight atmosphere. It's even worse when it's accompanied with thunder & lightning, and when it happens around 5:00 pm, where the day is already turning to dark, and into night. When the rain stops, you go outside and everything feels still, stifled, and paused. When you take a breath the air smells different too, like fresh water or salty seawater breeze. 

It's so gloomy & blue, it becomes nostalgic when I embrace it. It brings me memories of our past, and it clarifies my head.

I get gloomy when I shrug off the chance of meditating in this twilight. If I ponder and embrace this sad blue sight, I feel a strange peace. Such a strange discovery. That peace is penetrated within the walls that surround the palace of my true core. However, it only penetrates the third layer because I built so many. I don't know what I did to myself.

Embracing the way you're feeling ends in a peace within yourself, no matter what the emotion is. Do not shrug it off, do not let it slide, do not stuff it like a tissue. 
Embrace your emotions, but do not do anything stupid when it is overbearing. When you're feeling violent and angry, talk to someone and reach a positive solution. Emotions is one thing, Doing is another.